Friday, October 24, 2014

Steel Cable Deck Railing

First off, I suck at this.  I NEVER take in-progress pictures or step-by-step pictures so finished products are all you're getting these days. Sorry.

We have a sloped property and our rear patio has a ledge with a drop of about 4 feet at its highest.  The railing that was there was wobbly and poorly built to the point that it was more dangerous than having no railing.  If there's no railing, you know you may fall off so you keep back from the edge.If there's a railing, you may lean on it.  This railing would be knocked over by a child leaning on it.  So I removed it.  My stupid dog thinks it's a good idea for his 105lb ass to jump off this thing to bark at the UPS guy so a railing needed to go up.  Also, I'm pretty sure it's required by building code.

So I built this here steel cable railing system.  Once Zyggy is moving around, I'll probably double the frequency of the steel cables but this will do for now.
Here we see the stupid dog in question whose death-defying leaps are being foiled by hoomans with tools.

This is the end attached to the house.  I know the patio isn't level, thanks.  That project will be handled in spring.

Materials used:

  • 5x 3-foot pressure-treated 4x4s (I set mine four feet apart so obviously adjust for length)
  • 2x 10' cedar 2x6 (cut to length so the joint meets at the center of a post)
  • 4x stainless steel post bases
  • 4x redhead concrete anchors of appropriate size (I used 3.5"x1/2")
  • 80 feet 3/8" bulk steel cable
  • Four 1/4" stainless steel eyelets with 2" shank
  • 8 3/8" ferrules
  • 1 stainless steel 3/8 eyelet with 3" shank
  • 3 6" 3/8 lag screws
  • 2 3/8 lag shields
  • 24 2" deck screws- I used ceramic-coated star drive screws
  • 12 4" deck screws


Tools Required:

  • Drill
  • 7/16 drill bit at least five inches in length
  • 1/4 drill bit
  • Drill bit of appropriate size for deck screw pilot holes (mine is 3/16)
  • Hammer Drill/Concrete Drill
  • 5/8 Masonry bit
  • Post level
  • Impact driver with bits for your screws and appropriate sockets for the concrete anchors and lag screws
  • Miter saw (Any saw that can give you a clean 90-degree cut through a 4x4 will suffice)
  • Dremel with a broad metal blade (any cable cutter or thin metal cutoff tool will work)


Cable tools:
I used a pair of vice grips and a dremel but if I did it again, I'd get a proper swaging tool.  I was able to handle the compression of the ferrules by hand but it wasn't easy even though, thanks to my deadlift hobby, I have a prodigious grip.

Method:
Step one is always measure everything twice (or more) and write everything down.  Diagrams help too.

Step two was to mark and drill the holes for the post anchors.  Putting this into concrete (especially OLD concrete as it tends to get harder with age) means using a hammer drill and a masonry bit designed for a hammer drill.  A cheap bit will last about five minutes.  Maybe less.  Get a GOOD bit.  Yes it's 20 bucks but it's worth it.  I destroyed a cheap bit but my good Bosch Daredevil is still working nicely.  Also keep a bucket/cup of water on hand to dip the bit periodically as they will get crazy hot and hot metal deforms more easily.  Also- let the drill do the work.  Moderate pressure is plenty.
Once the holes are drilled and clear, place the post bases on and insert the anchors.  I used a wedge anchor for mine but if I went back, I'd just just lag shields.  Make sure to square the post anchors and torque them TIGHT. Wobble = bad.

Step three was to cut and drill the posts.  I cut all my posts down, marked them each for the cable. I used the long drill bit to put a 7/16 hole through Four posts at the same height.  The fifth post was the end post so use the 1/4 bit to sink a pilot hole about two inches at the same heights as the holes in the other four posts.

Once the posts are all cut and drilled, waterproof them thoroughly.  I did my waterproofing at the end and regret that.  Waterproof these guys before you install them.

Grab your impact driver, the 2" wood screws, and your post level.  Affix the four through-drilled posts to the post bases ensuring they are plumb and level. I used three screws on each side of the four posts to ensure a really strong hold.  Wobble = bad.

Concrete drilling again! Our house has a concrete foundation about 14 inches up from the base of the posts so I sunk a 2.5" 3/8 hole that lined up about 2" below the bottom pilot hole in the post.  Next I used the long drill bit to put three holes through the post at least 2" from the pilot holes. I put in the first lag shield and sunk one of the long lag bolts to hold the post securely to the foundation.  Then two more lag screws into the house itself.  That's three 6" lag screws holding up the end post so far.  Should be sound.  Wobble = bad.  Now put the four eye bolts into their pilot holes.  There will be a fair bit of tension on these so make sure they are sunk nice and deep.

Next I measured from the house to the center of the third post and cut a 2x6 to length.  The second 2x6 goes from the midline of the center post to 2" past the end post and cut that to length. (Again, waterproof now, not after.  Live and learn.) Square up the 2x6, drill pilot holes, sink 2 screws into each post.  The center post has 2 boards so each board gets 2 screws.  Now you've got a railing!  With huge gaps in it so it's time to run the cable.

Last time for the concrete drill.  18" from the last post, I sunk a 5/8 hole about 3 inches for the second lag shield. Place the lag shield in the hole and take your big eye bolt and screw it in.  TIGHT.  This one will have a lot of lateral stress on it and shouldn't move at all no matter how much force you put into it. Seal over the top of the hole with some polyurethane adhesive to prevent water seepage and expansion cracks.

I put my cable at 7" intervals and used 4 runs of cable.  I will probably go back with 4 more runs at some point as I recently found that code in my state says no more than a 4" gap if there's more than a 3 foot drop.

Thread the cable through a ferrule, through the big eyelet, and back through the ferrule creating a loose loop. Pull through enough cable to get to the other end with some slack.  This should be a pretty vague guess and always over-estimate how much you need. Chase the cable through the bottom row of holes in your posts.  When you get to the end, thread it through one side of a ferrule, then through the eye loop, then back to the ferrule's second gap.  The short side of the cable should be flush with the end of the ferrule.  Pull the loop down to the size you want or use a thimble to size correctly.  Crimp the ferrule shut so the cable is fixed.  If you are using a swaging tool, congrats.  You're smarter than I am. I used vice grips and it works out but it's a pain in the ass and is only possible because I have a pretty absurd grip strength (Deadlift hobby means my hands are stronger than most folks.). This isn't to brag, it's to warn you that getting vice grips to apply enough force to crimp the ferrules securely is not easy and is a FAR cry from the ideal solution.  Use the right tools.

At the other end, tighten the cable down and snug the ferrule as close to the eyelet as you want.  I stood on my pile of cable and leaned my knee into the slack to pull the cable as tight as I could.  Another situation where help or the right tools would have been the smart call. With the cable held taut, crimp the ferrule down hard along its whole length.  Use the dremel, loppers, grinder or whatever to cut the cable as close to the ferrule as you can.

Repeat the above process for each cable working your way up.  Start at the bottom and go up as the cables will be in the way of the cutoff and crimping if you go top down.

That's it.  If you followed my directions in italics, you're done.  If not, waterproof this guy and you're done. 6" wide railing to set drinks on during patio shindigs, 3/8 steel cable to keep stupid mastiffs in their place, and a really nice look for a LOT less money than the cable railing kits I was finding.

Next thing for this is to add some tiki torches to the railing. Something like this...

Monday, October 20, 2014

Happy birthday to me!

Tonight I made a delicious dinner. Incredibly unhealthy but really yummy.
Introducing the Bacon Mac and Cheeseburger!





















What we have here is a burger with bacon in it, on a potato bun with bacon mac and cheese on and around it.  Here's how I made it.

The Patty:
1lb 85/15 ground beef.  We used the organic stuff from Costco.
Four strips of dry cured bacon- minced
dried onion flakes
sea salt
worcestershire sauce
siracha
smoked paprika

Put all the extras on top of the beef.  Knead it together thoroughly and form into patties.  Put it on a hot grill to sear and turn the heat down.  They need to cook low and slow as the pork will cook a bit slower than the beef.  Turn ONCE.  Never ever turn a burger more than once.  Trust me.

The Mac:
Two boxes of Mac and Cheese.  Kraft blue box works but I used Amy's.
Butter
Milk
sour cream
mayonnaise
bacon chopped and cooked
Siracha

Prep the noodles as you would any pasta- salt the water, rolling boil, cook to al dente.
Dump the noodles into a colander.  Return the pot to the stove empty and on low heat.
Melt the butter in the pan and add the milk.
Once the milk is hot, add the mayo and sour cream to taste.  Whisk the mess together until it's smooth.
Add your cheese powder and whisk.
Add the noodles back to your cheese mix and fold together.
Fold in your bacon.

Mayo on the buns (as a moisture barrier) and lay down some romaine.  Burger patty goes on then a hefty scoop of Bacon Mac.  Top bun (I used mustard and ketchup but a slice of tomato would be better. Top bun goes on and then you chow down.  OM NOM NOM!

Happy Birthday to me!
AKA F&%k your arteries.

Tuesday, July 15, 2014

Lawn adventures! (part 1)

A rogue Dodge Ram is spied in its natural environs.
The Embers Homestead is on 2.5 acres with some slope, a bunch of small trees, some complex landscaping, a pasture, and an ENORMOUS tree.  It's a catalpa tree that is literally roughly twice the size of our house.  It's beautiful but it sheds seed pods and flowers by the bushel.  About 1.5 acres are pasture that we won't be doing much to maintain (goats come later) but that leaves most of an acre that we'd like to maintain as a yard.  Because the house was a short sale, it sat vacant for several months.  In Washington, we have rich volcanic soil coupled with plenty of moisture and enough sun to keep most grass growing most of the year.  Because of this, the yard close to the house was well above my knee and the farther areas are chest level. To add to the fun, the former owner of the house gifted us a Craftsman riding mower and told us, "I had a friend give it a thorough tuneup and the deck is only a year old so it should serve you well."
Bull pucky.

Note the gas tank installed backwards...

Silly garden shack and grass to my nipples
Day one, the mower fires right up, drives down the driveway and back without a problem.  Day two takes a while to start up then it dies.  I start trying to troubleshoot and my brilliant wife yells, "Does it have gas in it?"  Nope.  Added a gallon of gas and it starts right up.  Get it out to the garden area, try to engage the blades and WHUMP.  Stops.  Can't fire it up and can't force it.  I put it in neutral and take it back to the garage where I start swearing and fidgeting.  I recharge the battery. No good.  I replace the spark plug and the gas.  No good.  Change the oil again, rebuild the starter, rebuild the carb, replace all the hoses and lines.  All to no avail. I get underneath it and the "new" deck comes to light.  The blades were seized in their mandrels so the secondary drive belt just drug across them getting hot.  When I tried to engage the blades it got VERY hot then stalled the motor.  The hot belt then baked onto the drive pulleys. YAY!  Time to refurbish this "new" deck.

When we got started the deck was more rust than metal, the blades were seized in their mandrels, and two belt retention clips were bent out of shape and not retaining a darn thing.  When I went to remove the mandrels the bolts simply shore off. Sweet!  I got the blades loose, scrubbed some stuff clean, re-attached the deck and ran the belt.  Used the mower and it worked!  Kinda.  Without the retention clips, when the belt disengaged, it would just fall off the pulley.  This led to one of two situations.  When I engaged the blades the belt would either sit loose on the deck doing nothing or would slide between the bent clips and the pulley which would slowly shred the belt.  The result was that I had to get off the mower and re-thread the belt every time I stopped and a belt that should last 2-3 years lasted two afternoons of mowing.

I gave up.  I took the deck to a mower repair shop and gave them 80 bucks (81.97 actually) and got it fixed.  I got it home, hooked it back up and MOWED THE DAMN LAWN!!!!
A yard that looks like a yard!  HOLY CRAP!


Tuesday, June 10, 2014

Unknown Near-Death Experience

Or Why I'm buying a non-contact voltage tester
So the new house has a Mother In Law setup- basically a full apartment in the basement.  That means we have two hookups for electric dryers, and two washing machine hookups. I went to hook the dryer up downstairs and saw that it had an old 3-wire outlet.  Not a newer one like you can buy at any hardware store but an OLD one.  Upstairs was a more modern 3-wire outlet.  I'm not doing laundry in the kitchen so I figured I'd take the plug from upstairs and put it in the basement.  No big deal.
Turn off both breakers labeled "dryer."  Unscrew the face plate. Pull the outlet out of the wall.  Unscrew the wires in the receptacle. Take it to the basement, do the same.  Screw the wires into the newer receptacle.  Fix the outlet in place. Attach the face plate. Turn on the breaker for the downstairs dryer leaving the upstairs one switched off because there are exposed wires until I put a different plug in place. Plug in the dryer and...

I did all this and the dryer worked!  WOOO!

A few hours later, the water heater is only putting out warm water.  This is a 6 month old water heater so I'm a bit bewildered.  I Google up some ideas and settle on the symptoms pointing to a bad thermostat.  Home Depot has a repair kit that has two elements and both thermostats for my water heater for 32 bucks.  SWEET.  I buy that, kill the water heater breaker and put in the two new thermostats. Turn the breaker marked "Water Heater" on and wait half an hour.  Water is still cold.  Not just lukewarm but COLD.  wtf.

Commence spidey sense...

I go back to the breaker box and turn off both labeled Dryer and the one labeled Water Heater.  I turn on the water heater breaker and go back to the water heater.  No sound, no nothing.  The dryer won't turn on.  I turn that breaker back off and turn on the first one labeled dryer.  The dryer won't turn on but now there's a faint humming from the water heater if my ear is right against it.  I go back and turn it off.  I turn on the second dryer breaker and the dryer turns on.  I turn on both dryer ones and give it half an hour.  Hot water comes out.

Conclusions:
1- The breaker box is mis-labeled.
2- The water heater is on one labeled dryer.
3- The upstairs dryer outlet is on the one for the water heater.
Most exciting...
4- When I turned off both dryer breakers and went upstairs and pulled apart the 240-volt 30-amp outlet, I was futzing around with LIVE FREAKING WIRES.  WTF?!?!?!

Thankfully I'm a little paranoid and my gun training was in play.  Rule number 1 of firearm handling?  "Every gun is always loaded.  Treat it as such."  Every wire is always hot.  Treat it as such.  I did that and I'm quite glad.  Best case, I could have tripped the breaker and arc welded my screwdriver to the outlet.  Worst case, I could be dead and my house could have burned down before I made a payment on it.

So I'm getting one of these right friggin now.

Our next adventure revolves around a riding mower and my overwhelming hatred of mine.

Thursday, June 5, 2014

Whatever can go wrong, will

No project can go as planned.  It just never happens.  So far, the new house has been one stumbling block after another.  It was a short sale that took forever to close. There were complications and inspections and blah blah blah... whatever.  Now we have the house and stuff is still hitting the fan. For instance, I needed to attach a 2x4 to my foundation wall.  I bought a masonry bit and some heavy duty Tapcon fasteners.  The wall ate two masonry bits completely and stripped two tapcon bolts.  It also snapped two of them off.  I don't get it.  I got the post attached and I got that portion of the fence in place but at a pretty significant cost. Then I went to build the next portion of the fence.  I got the runners and posts in place pretty easily.  Spun up the compressor to use my handy new nail gun (holy hell. I LOVE my nailgun.  21 degree round head framing nailer = joy in my heart.) and went to adjust the pressure.  The hose pressure dial said 100 PSI which is higher than I needed.  I went to adjust it down to about 80 and... the knob fell off in my hand... Yeah. SHIT. So now I need to repair or replace my compressor.

Good times, I suppose.

Goal is to have the fence dog-proof and have the important stuff (bed, fridge, Computers) moved within the next 48 hours...  GO!

Tuesday, June 3, 2014

What do you do when you bite off more than you can chew?

Well duh.  You learn to chew more.
My wife is fantastic.  She's a horticultural savant, a great cook, a wine lover, a talented artist and... a baby maker!  I'm a pretty good cook but she's got a monopoly on the rest of those talents at our house.  In the last twelve months, we've gotten married, gotten knocked up, and bought a house on a couple acres.  In that order and all on purpose!

Yep.  We bit off way more than we can chew so the idea with this blog is to document my adventures in DIY, Dadding, and a dozen other adventures.  2.5 acres with a goat barn, a few outbuildings in varied states of disrepair, 3 months to baby, a house built in the 60s sold to us halfway through a remodel, two cars around 15 years old, three cats, two big dogs, a wife who loves to cook and garden, and a me who loves to tinker, meddle and use power tools...  All of those add up to having LOTS to do.
To give you an idea...

Build a large dog-resistant garden (DONE!)
Build a new dog-resistant fence (In progress)
Remodel two kitchens
Build a bitchin Fan Cave/Entertainment room (GO HAWKS!)
Gut and rebuild a 50-year old garage
Add a proper shop behind the garage
Fix a riding mower (Done/Ongoing)
Renovate the master bedroom (create a closet space)
Renovate the master bath
Renovate the Fan Cave bathroom
Turn a spare room into a nursery
Childproof all the things
Turn one outbuilding into a greenhouse
Get power and water to the greenhouse
Build a rain catchment system
Learn to raise goats
Learn to bow hunt
Learn to dress a deer
Make sure my kids(s) can do most of this stuff
Do a transmission and engine rebuild on a Jeep XJ

And this is just what I can remember while sitting here at my desk. At work.  As an IT nerd.

Let's DO THIS!